He writes this post… and he knows I will reciprocate!!…
I wanna write like a class 5 boy too… but whenever I think about it, it reminds me of so many bad words.. because that’s all I was doing in Class 5 – Learning bad words….
We used to study at Crescent Model School, and my education happened more in the school bathroom than inside class… Inside class I was beaten up because I had terrible hand writing and was totally unpunctual with assignments… (mind you I am the one who came 1st, only once though, and not Noor… but on average I think he did better than me)….
But the Crescent bathrooms were a training ground… especially the pot cubicles… if for some god forsaken reason you had to take a dump in them – well i usually went and sat there to bunk class… as soon as you’d close the door you’d see a whole new world in front of you… graphic cartoon like images of women’s private parts, even men’s private parts (this school was notorious for homosexuality, far more than aitchison), and all the beastiality and S&M stuff.. (I seriously think all this post modern porn business has its roots in pakistani school latrines)..
and then all the nicknames we had made of our teachers – bunta (the headmaster), cobra, kofta, machar, pregnant pastry, kheera (this last one had really sick connotations by the way)…… they were written there…
and then the cuss words .. man i really feel like putting them up here, but they are soooo sick that even i feel ashamed now… but when i was at school, it was as if i had found my personal holy grail of verbosity…. the only language i could speak was … foul!
Noor.. you were much better off than me at school… seriously.. you were the prefect.. i was the one who got a yellow card for breaking a classmate’s nose (he gave me a black eye for calling him ‘agha aloo’) and also for bad performance in art class…
and then the teachers… they loved ali noor… he had the best hand writing, he was a serious inquisitive student… and when i had the same teachers they were nice to me, only because of noor… otherwise they really hated my guts….
Man school was notorious for me, and thanks to Ali Noor every single time… I got my ass saved… he protected me like the best elder brother… and i never reciprocated…
yea i have this one time guilt 
… noor got in a fight, he was in grade 10 then (C-II it was called) and this boy came and slapped him.. and i was sitting there watching the whole fight… and i dint do jack to protect my brother… fine these guys were bigger than me…. but i think i was a much better fighter (as i was more experienced in that department)…. it’s funny though… how i still carry this guilt…
man this is getting messed up… ok bye!!
November 26, 2008 at 3:49 am
hence, the strong urge to sing BC? =D
November 26, 2008 at 9:28 am
hahahah…aww..this totally took me back to our grammarian days..
Haye, how my vocabulary flourished in those 11 years! From being the ‘pappoo’ bachi who started crying when someone called her a b**ch (i’m being polite for your blogs sake), to turning into the profanity master of school. I used to be the kid that got blamed for the obscene cuss words on the door, though i swear, i never once wrote them myself..(encouraging other people to write them doesn’t count)..
aww, school was amazing..I wish we never had to grow up…you could screw up as much as you wanted, and your smart elder siblings (or sibling in your case) would always save your ass! the teachers would always look at us and think, iske behn bhai toh bohat aqalmand hain what the hell happened to her:D..
but it was just such a carefree, fun life…tonnes of intense, yet entertaining cat fights…fights over boys (yes all girls schools have their drawbacks!)..bunking classes and having teachers check the bathrooms!!! Did THAT ever happen to you?? haha..
we all have things we miss out on doing and regret later..in my case, my elder sister disappointed me by leaving me alone to the hands of a nasty bully and her mother, who by the way, SLAPPED me for not giving her daughter money..hahahah..so i guess bullying was a huge problem at school..and being 4’10 for EONS did not help..it all seemed so bleak at the time..but i forgave her, so i bet noor has nothing to hold against you..:)..
anyway, funny post..makes me miss my schooldays and i could ramble on about those for ages..so i think i’ll go to my own blog!:D..thanks for the inspiration;)..
and we’re still waiting for part 3!:D
November 26, 2008 at 11:51 am
I am totally hooked on these blogs…..never thought that would happen! But I find this blog particularly amusing and shocking because I’ve never imagined Pakistanis doing any of this! I feel like I don’t know my own people! I guess I’ve lived a life of illusions about my own culture and people. If this is what’s going on in schools there, it would be fun and interesting to go back to Lahore and experience this solely as an observer
November 26, 2008 at 5:13 pm
eeww.. that’s vile, a prude like me wouldn’t last there a second, haha! i’m picturing them looking like the creepy public toilets in the candyman movie?
ps. i sincerely hope you brothers stay this way, it’d be devastating for us if noori breaks up after a brotherly spat.
November 26, 2008 at 7:12 pm
Seriously? And i always thought Crescent was this shareef bachaas school that produced rattu totaas with zero originality but hordes of Matric marks. Your blogpost (and you and Ali Noor) have overturned all these assumptions in one fell swoop (except your Matric marks bit that I have no idea about).
November 26, 2008 at 7:31 pm
geeee… i wasted all my time…sitting in the classroom …listening to the teachers……:b
Beeep !
November 26, 2008 at 10:48 pm
=)
no words to say man…. Blog is really helping you.
Eventually, it is saving us all
November 27, 2008 at 3:15 am
awww… sweet! I still have one year to finish my A’levels and after reading ur post I’ve realized I better have all the fun in my last year to last a lifetime. Great post!
ps: by the way i never thought of the bathroom as a place for bunking class. nice idea
November 27, 2008 at 4:36 am
hahaha.
man you made me laugh! chalak ali noor nahi tum ho!
November 27, 2008 at 9:42 pm
hahahaha. shit.
November 28, 2008 at 2:44 am
Awwwh…this reminds me of the time my sis got her head stuck in the railing at school….those were the days
November 30, 2008 at 3:47 am
lol, this is truly very sweet! : ) and this has nothing to do with your post, but I love your new song;do dil. It’s beautiful!
December 2, 2008 at 8:19 am
i am most interested to know how many hits this blogspot got?
December 7, 2008 at 6:03 pm
well i too carry such guilts in my heart, though i was 4 years younger than my sis, but far more guttier like can whip anyone’s ass really bad. But i used to be in the junior sector of our School and she was in the Seniours. She was kinda introvert and never spoke about her bully days, but when she finally got all that out of her it was ages after she did her college
Dair aye pr aye tu sahe thats all I say….
August 10, 2009 at 2:13 am
well……….dAts tooo mch……….fOr mee,bCx it s My bachpaN…..jst few chRaCteRx chaNged…..iF we replace ‘Ali NooR….by…..Dr.Sohail’………….’Ali Hamxa by AbdullAh’…….vanue : F.G bOys PubliC SchooL Bahawalpur………………..iTs HappY Tooo b a fan Of a perSon hAviNg ExaCtLy A SamE paSt……….:P :O